Thin, Skinny, Slender: Maintaining Objectivity

Words all have culturally specific meanings and suggestions--both denotations and connotations.  Accordingly, it's important to be aware of the "weight" of a specific word in a certain context. 

For instance, consider the following words:

skinny
thin
slender
scrawny

Each of these words could technically describe the exact same person.  However, they have different implications.  In my specific culture (native English speaker, middle-aged woman, to start), here are some of my most basic associations with these words:


skinny -- negative
thin -- neutral
slender -- positive
scrawny -- very negative

Many academic assignments ask you to maintain the objective tone of a critic.  That is, you should aim to take a position but remain objective in your language -- avoid name-calling and opinionated language, strip your words of judgment and emotion, etc.  In these cases, you'd want to opt for the most neutral term possible -- probably "thin" here -- to maintain your credibility as an objective critic.

Tighten up your Writing: Avoid Qualifiers

Weak writing is often inundated by empty qualifiers:

really
very
slightly
extremely
incredibly
fairly
quite
utterly
entirely
wholly
totally
probably
may be
perhaps
seemingly
sort of

So, today's exercise is this: use a highlighter to mark all of the qualifiers or adverbs in your paper.  You won't necessarily delete these words, but the exercise will help you to recognize those words that you overuse.  We all have our own writing crutches, after all.

Some of these words--really, very--simply weaken your adjectives.  Others--perhaps, sort of, may be--suggest timidity and strip your writing of its assertive tone.

Strunk and White's Wisdom of the Week: Alternate vs. Alternative

Today's topic is the misuse and confusion of the words "alternate" and "alternative."

According to Strunk and White's The Elements of Style, 

The words are not always interchangeable as nouns and adjectives.  The first means every other one in a series; the second, one of two possibilities.  As the other one of a series of two, an alternate may stand for 'a substitute,' but an alternative, although used in a similar sense, connotes a matter of choice that is never present with alternate." (40)

Example: "As the flooded road left them no alternative, they took the alternate route" (40).

Active vs. Passive Verbs: An Introduction

The first thing to know about voice in verbs is that neither passive nor active is correct or incorrect. Both have their own time and place.  For instance, passive verbs are useful in certain social sciences and legal-ese for the sake of research reproducibility and anonymity.  The humanities, however, tend to prefer active verbs.

Here's a quick introduction to verb voice.

Mary walked the dog.   [ACTIVE]

Broken down, it works like this:  The doer does/did something. 

Mary (the "do-er") walked the dog (did something). 

In a passive version of the same information, the "doer," otherwise known as the sentence subject or the agent of the sentence, can disappear altogether and the sentence still works.

The dog is walked.
The dog is walked by Mary.

That's one of the main problems with passive verbs.  Used unthinkingly, the passive verb allows you to forget about the agent of the action.  In other words, the sentence loses its agency.

The Arguable Thesis Statement ... otherwise known as a Claim

One of the main distinctions between high school writing demands and college/university writing demands has to do with the function of a paper's thesis statement.  High school writing assignments often expect what I'll call here descriptive thesis statements -- thesis statements that observe or describe a pattern.  The Advanced Placement (AP) program, for instance, works with descriptive thesis statements, helping students to become expert "noticers" and create thesis statements that offer an observation about a pattern in a text. 

College/university writing assignments, however, expect students to begin using more voice.  That is, they encourage students to take a stand and write papers that express a position on an issue.  Therefore, these writing assignments tend to be argumentative.  The thesis statement that grounds this argument, moreover, must be arguable or contestable.   Many college/university instructors and professors expect this style of writing but don't necessarily help their students understand this transition from descriptive/observational writing styles to argumentative. 

Examples:

Descriptive observation:  Statistical research indicates that American consumers favor food items that are packaged.

Arguable thesis statement: American consumers tend to favor food items that are packaged, but because of this pattern's increasing waste and detriment to the environment, companies must begin to regulate their use of packaging materials and contribute to more sustainable patterns in American consumption.

The first example offers an observation that, if you read the same statistical research, is fairly obvious.  This thesis statement is not arguable, in other words. The second example, however, adds information and indicates the writer's position on this issue.  This example, in other words, takes a stand.

An arguable thesis statement should be 1) arguable or contestable, 2) highly specific, and 3) relevant to a broader conversation or debate.  As a student writer, you should constantly ask yourself, "Why does this paper need to be written?  What does my argument contribute to an existing conversation?"

Organization Check-up: Cut-up and Reassemble

Here's a fun and productive way to evaluate your paper's organizational strategy:

With scissors, cut your paper into paragraphs.  Be sure to snip away identifying information, like page numbers and the paper's title.  Shuffle the paragraphs and lay them out on the table or floor.  With a pen in hand, begin marking up each paragraph.

1)  Mark transitional information, both one-word or phrasal transitions (moreover, in other words) and sentence-length transitions that signal a relationship between paragraphs.

2)  Circle key terms. 

3)  Look for metacommentary: evidence of the writer's voice, or what I call the author's "instructions to the reader."  Some examples of metacommentary include instances of first person (I argue that, my contention is...), transitions that signal a shift in the argument, or structural details that help the reader navigate the argument.  Focus here on first person.


With each paragraph annotated, begin reassembling.  Try to locate the paper's introduction first, because a strong introduction should offer a "roadmap" of the paper's argument.  Paying close attention to transitions and the author's own signposts, begin sorting out the paragraphs and determining their order.

Any time you have doubts or questions, WRITE THEM DOWN.  Note your uncertainties in the margins of the paragraph: "I'm not sure how this final sentence connects to another paragraph because it doesn't pose any directions for further inquiry."

Once you've assembled the paragraphs, number them.  Now, compare this order with the actual order of the paper's paragraphs and evaluate your missteps.  Could the paper have better informed its reader?  Could added metacommentary or transitional material have facilitated the process?

How to write an introduction

For an essay about literary analysis, introductions tend to transition gradually from broad to specific information, like this:

→ Introduction of your featured text (author/title/year) and your selected topic
→ Some observations about the topic, pointing to its patterns and function in the text
→ Comments that begin to narrow toward about the purpose or effect of this/these pattern(s)
→ The arguable thesis statement (or claim) itself:  very specific, contestable, and significant
→ (Often) a brief pitch about the claim’s significance to literary studies or how it affects our reading of this text.  You’ll take this up at greater length in your paper’s conclusion.

So, evaluate your introduction with this framework in mind.  Do your sentences move smoothly from topic to thesis statement?  If you notice any abrupt shifts or gaps, mark them and consider what sort of transition or added information would be useful.

Revision Tip:
Take a moment to list the rhetorical function of each sentence in the introduction: not what it says, but what it does for the paper.

MLA Tips: In-Text Citation

• According to Mark Miller, "zebras are the new giraffes" (23).

• At least one critic sees this trend appearing in 2009, claiming that "zebras are the new giraffes" (Miller 23).

The difference here?  In the first example, the source's name appears in the sentence, so there's no need to repeat that information in the parenthetical citation.  In the second example, the reader hasn't learned the source's name by the time the citation appears.

Revision Tip: Highlighting Verbs

1.  Begin with a highlighter in hand and skim your paper.  Highlight each main verb in your paper.  That is, focus on the main verb of each sentence, ignoring (for now) the verbs in subordinate clauses.

For example:

Before he confessed to his mother's murder, Clem washed his hands.

In this example, "confessed" is only a subordinate verb.  Here, "washed" is the main verb of the sentence: past tense and active.

2.  Now, survey your highlighted verbs and begin your analysis.  How many active verbs do you see?  Passive?

3.  Where do your verbs tend to fall in the sentence?  In the first third of the sentence, the middle, or the end?  Do you see much variety in their placement?

How to Write a Successful Personal Statement

A personal statement is a tough genre to crack. 

The most important thing to keep in mind is your contribution to an existing community.  

• What do you offer?  
• What do you bring to the table?  Be as specific as possible.
• However, you should also consider what this institution or program offers you.  Don't be afraid to explain what you expect to learn or gain from this experience. 

A strong personal statement, in other words, posits a relationship between you and this program--a relationship that is mutually productive.

Your style should be professional.  

• Avoid slang and especially avoid clichés. No admissions committee wants to hear how medical school will "change your life" or that you "enjoy helping people."  
• Instead, aim for specifics.  What concrete abilities or experiences have enriched your perspective? 
• Offer concrete examples whenever possible.
• Strive for a prose style that is sincere and honest.  Admissions committees are experts at noticing phony "do-good-ism" and empty claims.

How to Write a Smart Title

First, think about the real function of titles in the academic world.  Most often, titles are tools that we rely on when we're researching library stacks or databases.  Titles need to catch our attention and, in only a few words, signal their topic, argument, and even significance to a certain field or discipline. 

Student papers should mimic these professional conventions, SO, they should be as specific and direct as possible. 

1.  A strong title includes the paper's key terms.  If your paper is all about the "literary marketplace," your title would be misleading if it didn't include this key term.

2.  A strong title posits a relationship between these key terms.  Conjunctions and connective words, therefore, are crucial.

3.  A strong title includes at least some of the paper's central "people, places, and things."  That is, if you paper is all about a particular historical setting or geographical region, your title should alert the reader accordingly.